Reddit aficionados may know something of r/AmITheA**hole, a subreddit where users can go and get feedback as whether they were in the wrong in a particular disagreement or argument. Last week, a redditor asked if she was off base for telling her husband not to wake her up…because of her snoring.
She made it clear that she dislikes being woken up, even if she’s snoring. She went so far as to disclose that she has informed him, repeatedly over the years, that she does not want him to wake her up because she won’t be able to get back to sleep. And then there was this showstopper:
I do not want to sleep separately all the time just because of it, but he is welcome to go sleep on the couch if he wakes up because of my snoring (probably AH-ish on my part).
Sleeping on the couch for thee, but not for me? Wow. Just wow.
As you might imagine, redditors had a field day with this post. Here are a few of the sparklier gems from the comment thread:
So you waking him up by snoring is ok though? I think YTA
So it’s an issue and you snap when he wakes you up because you snore but it’s 100% ok to wake him up because…you…snore?
How is that fair OP? You know you snore but your husband has to be punished more?
Oh, the entitlement here. Synopsis: I can snore and do nothing about it, even thou it’s a huge sign that something is wrong with my breathing, but it’s not okay for my husband to wake me up to reset my issue, even though I can wake wake him up endlessly. YTA, duh.
If he is waking you up because you are snoring then you are missing the fact that you woke him up first with your snoring. So, to turn your argument on its head he has every right to wake you up because he can’t sleep with you snoring.
You need to talk to your doctor about you snoring. You could have sleep apnea or some other underlying condition that could be treated (maybe your adenoids need to come out). Also apologize to your husband for waking him up because you snore.
Nobody wants to spend their entire adult life *not* getting a good nights sleep because their partner snores so much, and then being told they’re an a**hole when they try to address it. Have you considered that your husband is trying to cause you some discomfort in order to incentivize you to solve the problem? You say it’s been years that this has been an issue so to me that sounds like he’s tried to address it the “mature” way, and you just aren’t doing anything about it so at this point, what else is he supposed to do?
Fortunately, several other redditors chimed in with the suggestion that the woman who posted (“original poster,” or OP in Reddit slang) is suffering from sleep apnea and could probably benefit from a sleep study. Hopefully she seeks treatment soon so that she – and her husband – can get back to a good night’s sleep.